Crime and Punishment
by astheblackrosewilts
Summary: John’s team have had enough with him endangering their missions for sex offworld so they decide to do something about it… RodneyRononTeylaJohn – slash and het


**Summary – **John's team have had enough with him endangering their missions for sex offworld so they decide to do something about it… Rodney/Ronon/Teyla/John – slash.

**Rating** – R

**Disclaimer** – I don't own them, that's obvious because this should really happen on camera and it doesn't

**Crime and Punishment**

Rodney marked an imaginary check in the air. "And this makes it five for five, ladies and gentlemen."

Teyla rolled her eyes and sank down next to the physicist as they observed John flirting with one of the local women and the young man who was hanging onto her.

As John disappeared inside the tent with them without so much as a glance at his team Ronon sighed and started to check his weapon. Odds were he'd be using it soon.

The odds were right, less than ten minutes later they watched as John shot out of the tent, zipping up his jacket and pants as he did so.

Following him was a furious looking man with several armed guards.

Belatedly Rodney thought that he might have been the leader of the people they were visiting but it was rather hard to concentrate when sprinting as fast as he could in the other direction, avoiding the flung spears as best he could.

"We have got to do something about this," he muttered under his breath as he dialled frantically, Ronon covering him shooting reassuring blasts at the natives.

Ronon shot him a contemplative look at that and Rodney blinked before the gate connected and he send his IDC, Ronon pushing him through the Stargate.

Where the noise abruptly stopped apart from their panting breaths

"So," Rodney murmured as soon as he comfortably could. "Leader's daughter?"

John flushed slightly. "Leader's wife," he answered shortly.

Rodney arched an eyebrow. "And…"

John's skin tone could not be considered healthy as he replied, even more quietly than before. "Leader's son."

Rodney blinked before he processed that. "Oh that's just _wrong_."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Teyla was waiting in his quarters when Rodney got back from the labs.

"Hey," he murmured tiredly as he slumped onto the chair near the desk, narrowly avoiding the precarious piles of laptops stacked in various places.

When Teyla spoke he was instantly on alert, more from the tone of her voice than the words. When Teyla sounded tentative it was never a good sign.

"Ronon and I have been thinking about what you said. About doing something about John," she began delicately and Rodney cracked an eye open to listen to her.

"Oh, yes?"

"Yes." She tilted her head determinedly. "Such a solution would not be unorthodox among my people or Ronon's, however, we fear that you-"

"Just spit it out Teyla."

She gritted her teeth and told him.

Rodney listened to her suggestion and smirked. "Teyla, I'm a genius, do you honestly think I'm going to say no to something like that?"

"Told you," Ronon grunted, appearing from the bathroom.

Rodney stared at him. "How long have you been in there?"

Ronon stared at him. "How could you just agree to our suggestion and have a problem with me in your bathroom."

Rodney flapped a hand. "That's not the point. Why weren't you both in here?"

Ronon titled his head towards the woman sitting on the bed. "She thought I might intimidate you."

Rodney viewed him consideringly. "Well, yes, but sometimes that can be fun."

His grin was answered first by Ronon and then Teyla as the Satedan threw himself onto the bed.

"So," Rodney asked, "how are we going to do this."

Ronon smirked. "Well, if no one else minds I've got a few ideas…"

\\\\\\\\\\\\\

John walked slowly towards his room alone, his team had disappeared somewhere but he couldn't really blame them.

He winced inwardly as he thought of the latest mission faux pas. In his head he could hear Rodney's disdainful snort and accompanying rant for referring to his actions as a 'faux pas'.

Never mind though, surely it could have gone worse.

'Yeah,' a nasty little voice in the back of his head chipped in. 'One of then could have been killed, which is going to happen one of these days at this rate.'

Then a bag was thrown over his head and he had no time to let out anything more than a startled cry as strong fingers gripped his neck and he passed out.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

He came round naked and tied to a bed. He tensed and panicked for a second before he registered Rodney, relaxed and then panicked some more.

Then his memories of the last few minutes of consciousness reached him.

He glared at Ronon, who was standing at the foot of the bed. "Did you Vulcan Nerve Pinch me?"

Ronon shrugged.

"What the hell is going on?" he demanded as no other answer was forth coming.

He twitched uncomfortably, trying to prevent the natural physical reaction that came form both Rodney and Ronon looking at him so intently. His erection didn't listen though, it just hardened further, especially when Teyla stepped into his line of sight.

"Do not worry, John," she soothed. "We will not hurt you."

He really, really wished he could be reassured but he was tied down, completely helpless and at the mercy of-

No more thoughts like that, he told himself firmly as his cock twitched.

Rodney smirked at him knowingly and, despite himself, he felt his cheeks grow hot.

"Right then." The scientist clapped his hands together in a motion so familiar from the labs that John would never be able to see it again and not get hard. "It's like this, we," he indicated Ronon and Teyla, "are completely sick of you jeopardising so many missions because of your inability to think with anything other than your dick. Therefore, we've decided that if you want to be a slut you can be one for us. If you don't want this say so and we'll let you go."

If he didn't want it?

John tripped over his own words trying to convey exactly how much he did want this but from the look on Rodney's face he much have articulated it clearly enough.

"Good." Rodney grinned and John felt himself grow hotter. "So this is how it's going to work, Ronon gets your mouth, I get your ass and Teyla's going to ride you, okay?"

Okay?

"Hell, yes!" he blurted and was faced by three shark-like grins as his teammates looked at him.

That really should turn him on as much as it did…

**Fin**


End file.
